src/strings.php

   1 <?php declare(strict_types=1);
   2
   3 return [
   4     'takeoutthebins' => 'Take out that BINZ #TrashSLAM 🚮',
   5     'newbill' => '%s bill: $%s each due on the %s',
   6     'billreminder' => '[REMINDER %d DAYS] %s bill: $%s each due on the %s',
   7     'drinksomewater' => '🚰 Consider drinking some water! 💦 #HydrationNation',
   8     'goodnightWearShorts' => 'I\'m signing off for the night. Before I go; tomorrow it\'s going to be about %s when you get up and %s later in the day. So consider wearing summer clothes. ☀️☀️☀️',
   9     'goodnightNormal' => 'I\'m signing off for the night. Before I go; tomorrow it\'s going to be about %s when you get up and %s later in the day. Jumper and trousers, maybe?',
  10     'goodnight' => 'Goodnight!',
  11
  12     'beginningOfSummer' => 'It\'s the start of summer! To get you prepared, here are the unique things that will happen this season...',
  13     'beginningOfWinter' => 'It\'s the start of winter (at last, fuck summer). Heads up lads, here are the unique tasks that are wanting doing this season...',
  14     'beginningOfAutumn' => 'Autumn is here 🍂🍃 Here\'s an overview of the unique tasks for this season...',
  15     'beginningOfSpring' => 'Spring has spring 🌻☀️ Here are the upcomming seasonal tasks...',
  16
  17     'beginningOfJanuary' => 'Welcome to January! Oh boy. Here\'s a summary of tasks for the month:',
  18     'beginningOfFebruary' => 'February is here! Here\'s an overview of what to expect:',
  19     'beginningOfMarch' => 'It\'s March! Here\'s what you\'re up against:',
  20     'beginningOfApril' => 'It\'s the start of April, you know what that means. Here\s the overview:',
  21     'beginningOfMay' => 'Welcome to May! Hooo geez. Check out the doozies you gotta do:',
  22     'beginningOfJune' => 'June is here, time to scope out the tasks for this month:',
  23     'beginningOfJuly' => 'Over halway through the year... It\'s July :O let\'s look at what needs to happen:',
  24     'beginningOfAugust' => 'It\'s the start of August, let\'s have a look at the tasks for the month:',
  25     'beginningOfSeptember' => 'Time to remember the September tasks!',
  26     'beinningOfOctober' => 'Välkommen till oktober! Here\'s the tasks for this month:',
  27     'beginningOfNovember' => 'Happy november! The year is almost gone D: Have a look at what needs doing this month:',
  28     'beginningOfDecember' => 'Less than a month left of the year. It\'s the home stretch, get through these bad boys!',
  29
  30     'anywayHeresTheMonth' => 'Anyway, here\'s the normal start of the month breakdown...',
  31     'anywayHeresTheWeek' => 'Anyway, like normal here\'s some stuff I think you guys should do this week...',
  32     'finallyHeresTheWeek' => 'And finally... Like always, here\'s some stuff I think you guys should do this week:',
  33     'happyMonday' => 'Happy Monday! Here are some tasks I think should get nutted out this week:',
  34
  35     'endOfYear' => 'The year is coming to an end, and it looks like there\'s some stuff that wasn\'t done. I hope none of it is critical; if it is, make sure to do it because I may not remind you again for a while!',
  36     'endOfYearGood' => 'The year is coming to a close, and it looks like you did everything! Good luck for next year :)',
  37
  38     'endOfSummer' => 'Summer is (finally) about to be over. That said, there\'s some outstanding stuff. Try get it done because I won\'t remind you about it again D:',
  39     'endOfSummerGood' => 'Summer is finally almost over, and to make it better, you managed to do all the tasks!',
  40     'endOfWinter' => 'Winter is coming to a close, but there\'s still some outstanding work to do... Try to finish these tasks because I won\'t be able to remind you again.',
  41     'endOfWinterGood' => 'Winter is wrapping up, and you managed to get through everything, nice :D',
  42     'endOfAutumn' => 'Autumn is coming to a close, but there\'s some outstanding work... Try to get through this stuff pls b0ss...',
  43     'endOfAutumnGood' => 'Autumn is neary aut-dumn (sorry). And you finished everytihng! Good work.',
  44     'endOfSpring' => 'Spring is almost over, and there are still some outstanding tasks. Try to get them done because I won\'t be reminding you again until next year :o',
  45     'endOfSpringGood' => 'Spring is about to end! And you did everything that needed doing. Epic!',
  46
  47     'endOfMonth' => 'November is coming to a close, and there are still some tasks outstanding. Try your best to get them done...',
  48     'endOfMonthGood' => 'November is almost over, and it looks like you\'ve completed everything! Nice one!',
  49     'andAlsoEndOfMonth' => 'Also, it\'s the end of the month, and there are these monthly tasks that still need doing...',
  50     'andAlsoEndOfMonthGood' => 'It\'s the end of the month too, and you did all the tasks! Nice.',
  51     'endOfWeek' => 'Aw geez Rick, it\'s Friday and these tasks still haven\'nt been completed, please try to do them over the weekend D:',
  52     'endOfWeekGood' => 'It\'s Friday and all the tasks are done! Nice',
  53     'andAlsoEndOfWeek' => 'Also, it\'s the end of a week, so here\'s the outstanding stuff...',
  54     'andAlsoEndOfWeekGood' => 'Also, it\'s the end of a week, but it looks like you got everything done, sick :D',
  55     'finallyEndOfWeek' => 'Finally, it\'s the end of a week, so here\'s the outstanding stuff...',
  56     'finallyEndOfWeekGood' => 'Finally, it\'s the end of a week, but it looks like you got everything done, sick :D',
  57
  58     'thisMonthThereAre' => 'This month there are %d tasks that need completing (as well as the regular tasks). I\'ll try my best to space them out over the coming weeks. As a heads up, here they are:',
  59     'tasksForTheWeek' => 'Here are the incomplete tasks for this week...',
  60     'taskAlreadyCompleted' => 'Hmm... It looks as though that task was already done this week.',
  61     'taskCompleted' => 'Marked as completed!',
  62     'unknownTask' => 'That doesn\'t look like a task I asked you to do this week... Use the listtasks command to see all the tasks.',
  63     'tasksAllCompleted' => 'I have nothing to show you, you\'ve completed all the tasks for this week! Epic.',
  64     'heyTasksAllCompleted' => 'Hey! That was the last task for this week. Good going!',
  65
  66     'rangehoodfilters' => 'Clean the rangehood filters in the kitchen',
  67     'poolwater' => 'Check the level of the pool, and fill if needed',
  68     'weeds' => 'Inspect pavers for weeds (front and back), and spray/pull out as needed',
  69     'ants' => 'Inspect the pavers for ant hills and apply sand/back fill as needed',
  70     'leaves' => 'Sweep up leaves in the front yard',
  71     'cobwebs' => 'Inspect the exterior of the house for cobwebs (in the windows and shit)',
  72     'fireextinguisher' => 'Inspect fire extinguisher',
  73     'mowlawn' => 'Mow the lawn',
  74     'vacuum' => 'Vacuum the house',
  75     'mop' => 'Mop the tiles',
  76     'kitchen' => 'Clean the kitchen (wipe all surfaces/cupboards and clean the stove)',
  77     'cleanhouse' => 'Do a big cleanout of the house',
  78     'cleangarage' => 'Do a big cleanout of the garage',
  79     'testreliefevalve' => 'Test the relief valves on the water heater',
  80     'testsmokealarms' => 'Test smoke alarms',
  81     'smokealarmbatteries' => 'Replace smoke alarm batteries',
  82     'fridgecoils' => 'Clean the fridge coils',
  83     'chlorinatorplates' => 'Inspect and descale chlorinator if needed',
  84     'treeflowers' => 'Clean up the flowers from that stupid tree next door',
  85     'bulkgreens' => 'Prepare for bulk greens collection',
  86     'windowdebris' => 'Clean junk out of windows (inside and outside)',
  87     'cleangutters' => 'Clean out gutters to prepare for rain',
  88     'checkdrains' => 'Check down pipe drains for blockages',
  89     'coverpool' => 'Cover the pool',
  90     'cleanchimney' => 'Clean soot out of the chimney',
  91     'tightenfixings' => 'Inspect and tighten (if needed) any fixings',
  92     'fanfilters' => 'Clean extractor fan filters (bathroom and air conditioner)',
  93     'bulkrubbish' => 'Prepare for bulk rubbish collection',
  94     'caulking' => 'Inspect and repair caulking',
  95     'showerheads' => 'Inspect and descale showerheads and taps',
  96     'shrubs' => 'Prune shrubs',
  97     'palmtrees' => 'Remove dead branches and seeds from palm trees',
  98     'uncoverpool' => 'Uncover the pool',
  99     'checktaps' => 'Inspect taps for leaks and repair as needed',
 100
 101     'unfinishedtasks' => 'Aw geez Rick, it\'s Friday and these tasks still haven\'nt been completed, please try to do them over the weekend D:'
 102 ];