strings.php

   1 <?php declare(strict_types=1);
   2
   3 return [
   4     'takeoutthebins' => 'Take out that BINZ #TrashSLAM 🚮',
   5     'newbill' => '%s bill: $%s each due on the %s',
   6     'billreminder' => '[REMINDER %d DAYS] %s bill: $%s each due on the %s',
   7     'drinksomewater' => '🚰 Consider drinking some water! 💦 #HydrationNation',
   8     'goodnightWearShorts' => 'I\'m signing off for the night. Before I go; tomorrow it\'s going to be about %s when you get up and %s later in the day. So consider wearing summer clothes. ☀️☀️☀️',
   9     'goodnightNormal' => 'I\'m signing off for the night. Before I go; tomorrow it\'s going to be about %s when you get up and %s later in the day. Jumper and trousers, maybe?',
  10     'goodnight' => 'Goodnight!',
  11
  12     'beginningOfSummer' => 'It\'s the start of summer! To get you prepared, here are the unique things that will happen this season (in addition to regular weekly(ish) shit)...',
  13     'beginningOfWinter' => 'It\'s the start of winter (at last, fuck summer). Heads up lads, here are the unique tasks that are wanting doing this season (in addition to regular junk)...',
  14
  15     'beginningOfDecember' => 'Welcome to December! Oh boy!',
  16     'beginningOfJanuary' => 'Welcome to January! Oh boy.',
  17
  18     'anywayHeresTheMonth' => 'Anyway, here\'s the normal start of the month breakdown...',
  19     'anywayHeresTheWeek' => 'Anyway, like normal here\'s some stuff I think you guys should do this week...',
  20     'finallyHeresTheWeek' => 'And finally... Like always, here\'s some stuff I think you guys should do this week:',
  21     'happyMonday' => 'Happy Monday! Here are some tasks I think should get nutted out this week:',
  22
  23     'thisMonthThereAre' => 'This month there are %d tasks that need completing (as well as the regular tasks). I\'ll try my best to space them out over the coming weeks. As a heads up, here they are:',
  24     'seasonalMeme' => 'Please also enjoy this seasonal meme I picked for you: %s',
  25     'tasksForTheWeek' => 'Here are the incomplete tasks for this week...',
  26     'taskAlreadyCompleted' => 'Hmm... It looks as though that task was already done this week.',
  27     'taskCompleted' => 'Marked as completed, nice one!',
  28     'unknownTask' => 'That doesn\'t look like a task I asked you to do this week... Use the listtasks command to see all the tasks.',
  29
  30     'rangehoodfilters' => 'Clean the rangehood filters in the kitchen',
  31     'poolwater' => 'Check the level of the pool, and fill if needed',
  32     'weeds' => 'Inspect pavers for weeds (front and back), and spray/pull out as needed',
  33     'ants' => 'Inspect the pavers for ant hills and apply sand/back fill as needed',
  34     'leaves' => 'Sweep up leaves in the front yard',
  35     'cobwebs' => 'Inspect the exterior of the house for cobwebs (in the windows and shit)',
  36     'fireextinguisher' => 'Inspect fire extinguisher',
  37     'mowlawn' => 'Mow the lawn',
  38     'vacuum' => 'Vacuum the house',
  39     'mop' => 'Mop the tiles',
  40     'kitchen' => 'Clean the kitchen (wipe all surfaces/cupboards and clean the stove)',
  41     'cleanhouse' => 'Do a big cleanout of the house',
  42     'cleangarage' => 'Do a big cleanout of the garage',
  43     'testreliefevalve' => 'Test the relief valves on the water heater',
  44     'testsmokealarms' => 'Test smoke alarms',
  45     'smokealarmbatteries' => 'Replace smoke alarm batteries',
  46     'fridgecoils' => 'Clean the fridge coils',
  47     'chlorinatorplates' => 'Inspect and descale chlorinator if needed',
  48     'treeflowers' => 'Clean up the flowers from that stupid tree next door',
  49     'bulkgreens' => 'Prepare for bulk greens collection',
  50     'windowdebris' => 'Clean junk out of windows (inside and outside)',
  51     'cleangutters' => 'Clean out gutters to prepare for rain',
  52     'checkdrains' => 'Check down pipe drains for blockages',
  53     'coverpool' => 'Cover the pool',
  54     'cleanchimeny' => 'Clean soot out of the chimney',
  55     'tightenfixings' => 'Inspect and tighten (if needed) any fixings',
  56     'fanfilters' => 'Clean extractor fan filters (bathroom and air conditioner)',
  57     'bulkrubbish' => 'Prepare for bulk rubbish collection',
  58     'caulking' => 'Inspect and repair caulking',
  59     'showerheads' => 'Inspect and descale showerheads and taps',
  60     'shrubs' => 'Prune shrubs',
  61     'palmtrees' => 'Remove dead branches and seeds from palm trees',
  62     'uncoverpool' => 'Uncover the pool',
  63     'checktaps' => 'Inspect taps for leaks and repair as needed'
  64 ];